Week 6: You Were Made for a Mission

Last week of discussion questions.

What are some typical fears and stereotypes that people have when they hear the word "evangelism"? What keeps you from sharing the Good News with others? People think of those preachers on TV, and the scandals they have heard about. I'm a little shy opening up to people I've just met.

What do you feel might be a part of the Life Message that God has given you to share with the world?
That just because I come from a broken home and I've been in trouble in past, that God will still use me.

Share the name of an unbelieving friend that everyone in your group can begin praying for. I won't do that here.

What can our group do together to help fulfill the Great Commission? I don't have group yet, just starting a group will help.

How has reading through this book together re-focused or redirected your life purpose? What have been some of the most helpful insights to you? The most insightful and the hardest still to get through is that it's God's purpose for me, God's mission, not my own.

Who does God bring to mind that you could share the life changing message of this book with? I've shared it with a few people already.

What are we going to study next? I'm going to re-read the book to prepare for my group.

Day 40: Living With Purpose

Today is a bitter sweet day. I've reached the end of my book. I've thought about what that means for a while now. Once I'm done reading, then what? Well, something I once heard was that We're not meant to be, we are meant to do. We should be called "Human Doings" instead of "Human Beings". Officially, class is over, and it's time to get off the couch and do all the things I've just studied and reflected on.

I'm not going to cover this chapter as in depth as I have covered all the rest. The reason for that is I would like to take some of the mystery of Day 40 into my small group with me. I'm sorry to disappoint anyone who was anxiously awaiting today's blog for reflection, or connection.

You've also made it 40 days with me, go celebrate that accomplishment. And then think about how that kind of dedication can be used by God. If you were willing to give me 40 days of your time, who will you give the next 40 days to?; Who gets the next 40 years?

Living out God's purpose takes more than 6 short weeks. It will take a lifetime to develop Christlike character. (And no one knows exactly how long they have!) I will give you this from the book, it really stuck with me. Keep God at the center of your life. When God's at the center you worship. When He is not, you worry. Worry is the warning light that God has been shoved to the sideline. This chapter is full of good ways to keep yourself centered.

The Bible verse is from the Book of Acts:

For David . . . served the purpose of God in his generation.
Acts 13:36 (NASB)

When will I take the time to write down my answers to life's five great questions? When will I put my purpose on paper? I'm going to work on this as soon as possible. I'll start thinking about it tonight, and writing it out over the weekend.

Remember: Living with purpose is the only way to really live.

And don't fret that you've reached then end of my blog; there is one more set of discussion questions which I am going to save till tomorrow.

Day 39: Balancing Your Life

I'll just come right out and say it; I stink at balancing things. Juggling is really what I do most often. How many different things can I keep in motion? Even that is not as many as I would like to admit. I can't balance, and I don't even juggle well; this is not looking good. What I tend to do is order things. At work, I am usually given a list of things to do. My bosses expect them all done, or at least all started. I prefer to start the ones I know I can finish and then move on to the others. Three things finished and one started, makes for an easier pass-down than four things "in work".


Unfortunately, God wants me to work on all five purposes all together. I can't make a list of which ones I can finish before I die for two reasons. First, because I will never know when I am going to die, and second because they are all open ended tasks. It's like God is telling me "Go West young man." I can head west and never be done going west. Sure I'll encounter some road blocks along the way, but there's always more 'west' in front of me.

What I'm trying to do is to order them in the ones I am working on and the ONE I am working towards. But even the one I am working towards can be worked on locally. Obviously the one I am talking about is going on a mission. Over the last thirty nine days, I've been on a mission though. I've worked on loving God(Worship), loving you guys (Fellowship), growing in faith (Discipleship), serving (Ministry), and taking the Word to others (Mission).

Do you see now how those five things can never be complete? Could you ever say "I worshiped God yesterday, I don't need to do it today." How about "I've already told everyone about the Good News." Maybe you'll tell everyone you know, but that's not EVERYONE. So I've got a list of things to do now, and some help from the author on how to get them done. I'm leading a growth group on this book in about a month. (Around October) It's for men only, simply because I want to encourage men to go deep and it's against most mens nature to be open and honest in the presence of women. If you're a man and you live in or near Palm Coast,Fl, contact me for more information. If you're a lady, I would love to help you possibly lead a group of women through this book as well. In a group setting there is worship, fellowship, discipleship, and serving others. And those four things will set up the foundation for reaching out to others through ministry.

The Bible verse is from Ephesians:

Live life with a due sense of responsibility, not as those who don't know the meaning of life, but as those who do.
Eph 5:15 (The New Testament in Modern English)

But, I also like the bluntness of the Contemporary English Version; in case all those words are going over your head:

Act like people with good sense and not like fools
Eph 5:15 (CEV)

Which of the four activities will I begin in order to stay on track and balance God's five purposes for my life? I already mentioned starting a group to study this book. If you still don't have this book, here is a list of the activities. Pick one that you can do.

1) Talk it through with a small group or spiritual partner.
2) Give yourself a regular spiritual check-up
3) Write down your progress in a journal (or Blog)
4) Pass on what you know to others.

And if you're thinking you don't know anything. . . You've made it this far, you can bring someone up to your speed. I am no expert on anything, but I have an awesome support group that I can turn to for almost anything I need. It starts with God, I always pray first, then I ask others to pray with/for me and for advice. If you want to start building a support group, I'll pray for you. You've followed me for almost 40 days, you've seen that all these things can be done by a person who isn't perfect. Don't wait to be perfect before you'll take a chance leading others along the path you are on.

Remember: Blessed are the balanced

Day 38: Becoming a World-Class Christian

This was a difficult chapter for me. This Blog is currently the closest I will get to being a missionary outside of my current town. I am working on becoming less self-centered. My prayers usually center around other people's needs. I'm not perfect, and sometimes I do pray selfish prayers even still. But for the most part, I pray for my friends and people from church who are going through difficult times. I do still find it difficult to bring up Jesus in conversations with total strangers, but I more readily speak about Him with friends who I know already have some faith.

I think I can work on praying for other countries, and for missionaries all over the world. I think that it will probably be years before I could actually go on a mission somewhere, my wife has been wanting to, but with three small kids it's been difficult to figure out all the details. I know that if we both prayed more about it, God would share His wisdom about it. God wants us to go on a mission, He wants all of us to go out into the world and all over the world spreading the Good News.

I am definitely thinking more about the future, but the enemy keeps throwing the here and now in my face. I guess I'm still making excuses though, I know the plans God has for me and that some of these things are tests. I know that when my finances are on track and my household is in order, God will be able to do even more wonderful things with me and my wife. So the time to start working on those things is now. I have my purposes; to worship, to fellowship, to grow like Christ, to serve, and to be on a mission. And to shirk one of them is not giving God absolute control of my life. Missions are big scary things, but with the resources in the book, and some prayerful planning, I know they are possible, even for my single income family of five.

The Bible verse comes from the book of Psalms.

Send us around the world with the news of your saving power and your eternal plan for all mankind.
Ps 67:2 (LB)

What steps can I take to prepare to go on a short term mission experience in the next year? I've got to get all the information, set up a savings fund, and pray daily that God keeps that goal foremost in my mind. And also get a new passport.

Remember: The Great Commission is my Commission

Day 37: Sharing Your Life Message

Everyone has a story to tell. Just Friday evening I heard someone suggest that getting someone to share their story was a great way to get them invested in what you're doing. If you honestly care about someone's story, you can find out how to best reach them with the Good News. I'm looking to do a study one this book in a small men's group. Guys are normally reserved about deep personal stuff, but will readily tell you where they are from, what teams they root for etc. It's in those non personal details that I will be looking for clues on how to best reach them and get them to all open up.

I'll have to share my message with them, that's for sure. I don't want to give it all away, but I've covered a good deal of it here. My story about how I came to know Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior, is a big deal to me. And I'm hoping that it helps others relate and be willing to share. I'm a 'satisfied customer' of the Gospel, not a salesman as the author would say. Through my message, others can maybe see in their own life where Jesus has come in and shown up in big, and not so big ways.

I've given my testimony, I've also share small life lessons here. These are things that each of us learn through trial and error. But like the author says, there are too many things to learn and we're slow learners to try every one. If you can trust me to be honest with you about my failures, then you can take something away from my failures and my successes. These things worked for me, these things hurt. I want you to not make the same mistakes I did. But also, I want to know what worked and didn't work for you, so that I can benefit from your life lessons.

I've got a few passions. Unfortunately, not all of them are Godly. I am pretty sure that God doesn't want me to reach other people by staying on the PS3 playing Modern Warfare all day. But even that did help bring me into a stronger relationship with my half-brother. So again, God will use a vice for His victory. But I think my real Godly passion for writing and for drama will help me reach more people for Him.

The more people I can reach, the more I can tell the Good News to. The Good News that I've been talking about is that Christ died for all mankind God wants all His children returned to Him. If what Jesus suffered was enough for all men, than it wasn't enough for any man. So I'm not special, God didn't come down to earth to die for me and pay the price for my sins. The Good News is that He died for US to pay for OUR SINS!!! In Christ we all can find redemption and salvation!

Our Bible verse comes from the Book of First Peter.

Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect
1 Peter 3:15 (NIV)

As I reflect on my personal story, who does God want me to share it with? I've talked before about sharing it with youth who come from broken homes, I've also been reaching out to a believer going through a difficult custody battle and hopefully making a difference there too.

Remember: God wants to say something to the world through me.

Day 36: Made for a Mission

This chapter makes me think of "The Blues Brothers" movie. "We're on a mission from God." The truth is we are. We're on a few different, but interconnected missions from God.

Our missions are critical to God's plan for the salvation of mankind. The first part of our mission is finding our purpose, our SHAPE, and our ministry in the Body of Christ. (the Church family) The other part, is our mission in the world. This doesn't mean that we drop everything we're doing and hop on the next flight to South America, (unless of course, you're discovered purpose is missionary work) God needs you right where he has you!

Our mission in the world is to introduce others to Jesus Christ. It's our job to reach and teach the non believers. And, if you've made it 36 days following along with my writing, you can't say that God can't use you. You know He will use anyone who believes in Him; we've covered all that already. No excuses!

I've had a rough few days. I've even needed to get my own personal 'prayer warriors' out fighting for me. And even though I was ready to walk away from this blog, this book, and everything related to it, their prayers came through for me; they helped me stay focused on my mission. That mission is reaching you. As the author says, and I'm going to adopt it too "One more for Jesus" is why I am here.

Our Bible verse comes from the Gospel of Matthew. It is Jesus' Great Commission for His followers.

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
Matt 28:19-20 (NIV)

What fears have kept me from fulfilling the mission God made me to accomplish? What keeps me from telling others the Good News? I sometimes am afraid of people just telling me off, but I am trying to better read people and approach ones that I think are more open to receiving the Good News.

Remember:I was made for a mission

Week 5: You Were Shaped for Serving God

Another week is over, another purpose revealed. And, another chance to discuss, review, and share.

How is 'using your shape to serve others' different from how most people understand 'ministry'? I think most people hear the word 'ministry' and think of Priests, Pastors, or Missionaries. Using your shape is about ministering in your own unique using your own life story.

What do you 'love' to do that you could use to serve others in the family of God? I love to write and move others. I could try writing songs, or just continue blogging. (except, not daily)

Think of a painful situation that you have gone through that God could use to help others who are going through the same kind of situation. I think my story about almost losing my house can be used to help others in financial trouble.

How does comparing ourselves with others keep us from fully developing our unique shape? We can't be who we were meant to be, if we are trying to be who someone else IS. That defeats the "each of us are unique" statement of purpose.

Have you ever seen God's power demonstrated through when you felt weak? Yes, when I gave my testimony on being "Broken", several people were moved closer to God because they could relate.

How can we help every member of our small group or class find a place of ministry? What can our group do to serve our church family? We help each them by helping identify their unique SHAPE. Not having a group (yet) makes it hard to answer the second part.

Day 35: God's Power in Your Weakness

No one likes to admit they are weak. No "real man" would ever be seen crying in front of others. No "real man" would admit he was afraid, or hopelessly lost. And no "real man" needs help with anything personal.

Well, I guess I'm not a real man, because I'm a mess. One of my favorite Bible verses is used in this chapter. Paul says "To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor 12:7-9(NIV) Paul openly admitted he had a 'thorn'. He doesn't tell us what this thorn is, it's not important, and it makes it easier for us all to relate to it. Maybe his thorn was a gambling problem, maybe he liked to drink, maybe he like Peter, he just had a short fuse.

There are secrets to unlocking God's power in our weaknesses. The author is kind enough to share these with us. Like I've done before, I want to share all these with you in case you don't have the book to follow along with. These are important things to know. And I'm going to openly share with you my experiences based on them.

Step 1"Admit your weaknesses I get offended easily and have a hard time accepting criticism. It's caused lot's of problems in my life and relationships. It's something I've been working on for so many years and I keep struggling with it. I consider it a 'thorn' of mine.

Step 2: Be content with your weaknesses. This is hard to do with my weakness that I just mentioned. But the author doesn't mean that I should just accept it as fact and let other people deal with it. I have to accept that is a weakness but not use it as an excuse.

Step 3: Honestly share your weaknesses. By sharing with you guys, hopefully you'll see that nobody is perfect, and God will use anyone regardless of your imperfections. As a matter of fact, God seems to thrive on choosing flawed individuals for His biggest tasks. Moses had a fierce temper. He spent weeks in God's presence when he received the Ten Commandments. Do you know the 1st thing he did when he got back to the Israelites and they were worshiping idols; he smashed God's tablets!

Step 4: Glory in your weaknesses Just before the passage I quoted above Paul he would only boast about his weaknesses. I won't boast about being easily offended, but I will boast about weak. God will use me despite my flaws. Admitting that I have them will make me approachable and easier to relate to.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
2 Cor 12:9

Am I limiting God's power in my life by trying to hide my weaknesses? What do I need to be honest about in order to help others? Yes, I do limit God's power when I don't open up to people about where I am weak.

Remember:God works best when I admit my weakness.

Day 34: Thinking Like a Servant

This is the blog post that almost never happened. Today I've been thinking a lot. Thinking too much even. This whole chapter convicts me. I don't know that I have been thinking like a servant as much as I should.

There were a couple of hard hitting lines in this chapter. I already knew that it wasn't thinking less of myself, but thinking of myself less. That I haven't been doing. I keep thinking about my blog. I pour over my blog posts, I check my e-mails several times a day, It's not right.

There's five attitudes that a servant should have and I don't think I have any of them.

Servants think more about others than themselves I've been thinking about you readers, but more because I want to be the one that helps draw you closer to Christ. That's not right.

Servants think like stewards, not owners Even 34 days into this blog, I call it my blog. That's not how a steward should talk. This is about a relationship not about me. Plus this is the section that convicts me because my own finances aren't in order yet. I'm still serving two masters.

Servants think about their work, not what others are doing. Ok, maybe here because I obsess over this blog, I'm not concerned with what others are doing. But I also don't know anyone else doing a blog like this, so that helps, but it doesn't make me a better servant.

Servants base their identity in Christ I'm too insecure, I don't value myself enough. I am too focused on me and my own self worth.

Servants think of ministry as an opportunity, not an obligation. I did think that way at first, but then I began to feel obligated to this blog.

In the Book of Philippians, Paul tells us:

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus
Phil 2:5 (NIV)

Am I usually more concerned about being served, or finding ways to serve others. I think I want to serve others, I've just been doing it for the wrong reasons.

Remember: To be a servant, I must think like a servant.

I apologize, this was a rough chapter for me. I need to do a whole lot better with my attitude.

Day 33: How Real Servants Act

I'll admit that I like when people do things for me. My wife does things for me all the time. I've got kids that I can send to check the mail and fetch stuff for me so that I don't have to get up, etc. But I should be serving others more than I am being served. Jesus modeled service for us. He was the Son of God and He led the Apostles, but on the night of the last supper, He washed their feet.

I know that there is room for improvement in how well, and how often I serve others. I don't always make myself available to serve. I serve on Sundays, but Monday through Saturday I work night shift and don't spend a lot of time in service to others. When I see a need, I still tend to weigh it against what I am doing and what my work/sleep schedule looks like. Just yesterday, I miss a chance to serve when I saw a guy whose truck was broken down. I was on my way to work so I didn't stop to help.

I'll also admit that there are some ways that I enjoy serving, and some ways are things I wouldn't enjoy. I tend to stay away from those. But God is telling me that all service is a way to please Him. That may mean serving in the nursery and changing diapers or burping babies. And, I admit that some Sundays, I just don't want to get up early. My schedule lends itself to sleeping in, I don't have to be at work till 4 on most days; noon on the overtime days. So when Sunday comes, it's hard to be at church at 8:30am to help set up.

Just like when I started my blog, I wanted to know that people are benefiting from my service. Which is funny, because in church I serve in set up and break down, and running the sound board. Those things happen before and after people get there, and from the very back of the church. So, I don't know who is going to consider that what I did was serving them. Still, who doesn't want to hear "good job" or "thank you"?

This chapter made me examine how I was serving in a different way than the previous two days did. Not what I am doing, but if I am doing it the way God wants me to. I'd give myself a B-/C+ for my service. There is much room for improvement. I'm glad that I've had this time to reflect on my service, because I want to do better. When I serve others, even children, I'm serving God.

Matthew tells us in his Gospel that Jesus said He would reward us for service. and I don't know about you, but a reward from God trumps any "thank you", plaque, or gold watch in my book.

And if you give even a cup of cold water to one of the least of my followers, you will surely be rewarded.
Matt 10:42

Which of the six characteristics of real servants offers the greatest challenge to me?I talked about a few areas that I struggle in, but the 'greatest' challenge is making myself available to serve outside of Sunday.

Remember: I serve God by serving others

Day 32: Using What God Gave Us

“What you are is God’s gift to you; what you do with yourself is your gift to God.” –Danish Proverb

I love this saying. I’ve been looking at what I can do well for the last few days. I’ve also been looking at where I have served and where I can serve. And I think I may have been restricting where I serve by what I want to do. In my heart, I wanted to lead people in worship, but that’s because the people I admire most at our church do that. I wanted to be like them. But, I’m not like them.

I have a heart for worship but my abilities aren’t in the realm of musical instruments, or lead vocals. I wish they were, but wishing won’t make me a better singer, or a guitar player. But, I am technically savvy so now I’m experimenting on the sound board. It’s kinda disorganized right now, and I hope I can bring some order to it. I’ve also been holding myself back from drama because of my work schedule. It’s hard to rehearse when I’d have to take off work to do it. So, I just send my ideas to someone else and let them run with them, or not.

The other handicap I’ve placed upon myself is how much time I have to commit to my family. I would serve more if I saw my family more. I like working sound because I get to serve with my wife who works media. I’m reserved about giving up more of my time to serve with others when I only get to see my kids on Saturday and Sunday. So it’s possible that I could serve better elsewhere, but I don’t want to take any time away from them. I’ve already seen how my writing takes me away from them. (I need peace and quiet to write) How can I possible offer to serve in another ministry that would take up more of my time?

This chapter left me with mixed emotions. I am serving, but I don’t know if I’m serving as best as I can. I like what I’m doing, it’s interesting; but I’d love to brain storm dramas with Hol and Chels, or spend some time with some of the troubled youth, but I’ve got my own family to take care of. They need to know I love them as much as I love serving God’s people in our church. The need to feel my love for them, not just see my love for God in the things I do.

The Bible verse comes from Paul writing to encourage Timothy.

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.
2 Tim 2:15

How can I make the best use of what God has given me? Honestly, I don’t know. I’ve been looking for cues from other people I respect at the church. Where they have asked me to serve, I have served, when I have seen a need, I’ve tried to fill it.

Remember: God deserves my best.

Day 31: Understanding Your Shape

I think yesterday I got a bit ahead of myself. I tackled, albeit briefly, all five factors of our SHAPE. I should have just focused on Spiritual gifts and Hearts desire. Today’s chapter goes more into detail about Abilities, Personality, and Experiences. That’s okay though, God must have wanted me to re-talk about those areas.

When I was still in school, I realized that I had a love for writing, and for poetry. I’ve written several poems, songs, and short stories since then and really have enjoyed writing this blog. I have even developed my own written language based on English. (26 letters A-Z) I came up with that while playing D&D when I was in the Navy twenty years ago. I’m a voracious reader, and I can read and speak two languages other than English (although not fluently due to lack of use.) Those are just some of my abilities. I’m not bragging, I’m trying to make a point, please bear with me. I’m sure if I listed all of my abilities and you listed all of yours, we would find things we could both do, and things one of us could do, but the other couldn’t.

What we have to remember is that we each have abilities suited to the job God has planned for us. Our abilities are gifts from God. I could brag about my abilities about as much as I could my height or hair color. I had no input in any of those things. I have to consider my abilities when I think about where best to serve God. Maybe he wants me to write a newsletter; or to translate the recaps (but computer programs can do that these days). Maybe he wants me to use one of my other gifts. God doesn’t want any of my gifts going to waste.

My personality is another key to where I can best serve God. I’m introverted; I’m passionate; I’m a bit choleric and a bit sanguine. I’m pretty adaptable when in a crowd. I can be a social butterfly, but other times I’m a total wall flower. It really depends on several things, some of which I don’t even understand. In high school, I had friends in drama and debate, varsity letter men, cheerleaders, head bangers, punks, and troublemakers. I was one of few people in my school that never worried about what bathroom I was using, who I was seen with or dated, or what park I walked through at night. With each group I had something to share, and I took something away from too. Actually, it was my association with the troublemakers that led me to join the Navy via a night spent in an 63rd precinct holding cell.

I’ve talked several times about my experiences. A while ago I accepted that they all happened to help shape me for God’s service. The author breaks down our experiences into groups; my family, school, work, spiritual, ministry, and painful experiences all prepared me to serve God. I’ve covered most of these but to use a big brush stroke: I come from a broken home, complete with step-mom and half siblings. I graduated high school at age seventeen and six months and went straight into the Navy. While in the Navy, I met a guy who worked for the company I now work for. I told him bluntly that I wanted his job and he helped me get it. I’ve come a long way from where I started.

One day while walking on a beach in California and feeling quite alone, a stone washed up at my feet. The kind of stone I used to find in NY, not the kind you expect on a sandy beach. I still tell people about it. It was a very spiritual experience for me. It was God, giving me an anchor. I still have it, 13 years later. I’ve acted in a few church dramas; I served in the choir and now am working behind the scenes with the sound. And the most painful experience I’ve talked about here is almost losing my house while I was working 800 miles away from my family.

Now two paragraphs don’t even come close to summing up the core of my experiences. I wanted to tell you a bit of my story to give you something to think about in your own life. I look back at all those things I’ve mentioned, and the ones I’ve left out, and I see God’s hand at work in my life. He has been shaping me for my perfect job. But please be patient with me, He’s not finished with me yet. Has He started His work in you yet? I bet He has.

Even if all you know about God is what you’ve been hearing me babble about for the last month or so, He’s working. If you still haven’t accepted Him as your Savior, He’s working to establish a foothold. If you want to know more about accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, contact me. This paragraph is being written through teary eyes. I didn’t start this blog to lead anyone to Jesus, but right now the Holy Spirit is pressing on me the need to open this door for you. I don’t know who you are yet; I don’t know what day you’re reading this, but I am writing to you for Him, and only you know who you are.

The Bible verse is from the apostle Peter:

Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms.
1 Peter 4:10

What God-given ability or personal experience can I offer my church? I’ve already given some of my abilities in service at the church. I can still offer to be a counselor to youth from broken homes.

Remember: Nobody else can be me.

Day 30: Shaped for Serving God

Do you remember the song "Anything you can do, I can do better. . ."? If you're too young to know what I'm talking about, here is the Wiki article. Well, it's not true. I can't do everything you can do, and you can't do everything I can do. And I like it this way.

Just like our physical attributes make us each different, our Spiritual gifts are unique as well. The author talks about it using the acronym "SHAPE

S: Spiritual Gifts
H: Heart
A: Abilities
P: Personality
E: Experiences

We've already talked about Spiritual Gifts, they were given to help you in the ministry which God has made you for. Your heart gives you clues, because you were made to love doing the thing God has planed for you. Of course, some abilities can be learned, but the ability needed to serve God is within you, just waiting to come out. The last two kind of go together because one makes up the other. It doesn't matter which one you pick for that statement to be true. Your personality will help you connect with the people God has chosen for you to connect with, and your experiences help you relate.

I've said it a few times already, but I can be a bit rough around the edges, blunt, sarcastic etc. Have you read Ecclesiastes? King Solomon was very blunt and rough around the edges, I would say in a book about the Glory of God, Solomon definitely looked at it from a different angle. He could, he had tried all sorts of things and knew that nothing out shone God. If you haven't read it yet, move it up on your list. You can learn a lot more than just where the Byrds got their song lyrics from.

Everything that has happened to me over the past 37 years is my experience. And those experiences help me relate to certain people better than others. I have a few friends with very specific things that are happening in their lives right now that I can sit down with and say "I've been there, here's what God wants you to know." I don't say that to boast, I wish they didn't have these problems. I wish that no one had to experience the things that it took to finally get me to trust and love God. But if you're going through any one of them, I want to help you not loose faith, or fall without someone to help you back up.

I'm good at connecting to people who need to know the things I talked about yesterday. The people who think God doesn't love me, God can't use me, Why would God let this happen if He loved me, I can never be good enough for God, or I have to get my life together before I can come to Christ. If you're one of those people and you have never admitted those things to yourself or anyone else. Get in touch with me. We need to talk. It's why you've been following this blog for the past 30 days. It's how I was shaped to serve.

The Bible verse if from Paul again writing to the Corinthians. It should help you understand that Christians are all unique, but we all love and serve the same God

There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men.
1 Cor 12:6

The question to consider is this: In what way can I see myself passionately serving others and loving it? I can see myself doing more than just running the sound board at church, singing in the choir, or acting in the dramas. A month ago I would have never considered that I was meant to help others in a small group, but it's now in the works.

Remember: I was shaped for serving God.

and. . . God doesn't make junk

Day 29: Accepting Your Assignment

I'll be honest, I didn't think I was gonna get this post up tonight. All three kids start school tomorrow and there is just so much that needs to be done. I'm pretty sure that as soon as this is posted, I'll be going to bed myself.

When I joined the Navy, it was a completely voluntary act. But, once I had signed my named on that dotted line, I was in "the service". I wasn't 'made' to serve in the Navy. I was made to serve God. God made me to be His representative in a broken world. He knit me together in my mother's womb with a specific job in mind.

This job is so important that Jesus gave His life on the cross. He saved me so that I could serve Him. You aren't saved 'by' service, you are saved 'for' service. I don't serve God out of debt though, I don't owe Him for what He did, I love Him for what He did. The word the Bible uses in ministry and that word used to scare me. But now I have a better understanding and love serving others.

Serving others here better prepares me for life in Heaven. It took a lot of time for my thinking to change from how can my church serve me, to how can I serve in my church. I think it was made easier by the fact that so many people in my church are so good at serving others. And if I can learn how wonderful serving others makes me feel, you can too. And if you think God can't use you, let me give you some history on some of the people God uses:

Abraham was old when God called Him. Jacob was insecure. Moses stuttered. Rahab was a prostitute. David had an affair. Jonah was reluctant and argued with God. The apostle Peter was impulsive and hot headed. Paul was out persecuting Christians when God called Him. At one point before starting Lifecoast Church, my pastor was basically paralyzed. I'm not "old", but I'm insecure, reluctant, impulsive, hot headed, etc. God's using me, will you let Him use you?

Writing to the Ephesians, Paul reminds them:

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do
Eph 2:10(NIV)

What is holding me back from accepting God's call to serve Him Nothing, I love serving.

Remember: Service is not optional

Week 4: You were Created to Become Like Christ

It's Discussion time again. Another week has gone by and we've uncovered our third purpose. We were created to be like Christ. We can never be Christ, but we can change the world by being more like Him.

How is 'becoming like Jesus Christ' different from the way most people understand discipleship? I just love these questions about "most people". I don't know most people, I only know me. Becoming like Christ is about learning to live the 'Fruits of the Spirit'. (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control) I used to think discipleship was learning Bible verses, and talking to strangers.

What are some of the changes you have seen in your life since you became a believer? What have others noticed?I've become more dedicated to helping others and concerned over their needs. You'll have to ask others what they've seen, I don't answer for them.

A year from now, how would you like to be more Christlike? What can you do today to move towards that goal? I would like to have more joy, and self control. I think if I spend more time with my wife and kids, I'd have more joy.

Where in your spiritual growth are you having to be patient because there seems to be little progress? Oh, I need to be patient being patient.

How has God used pain or trouble to help you grow? I can't explain what a huge leap in my faith came from almost loosing my house.

When are you most vulnerable to temptation? Which of the steps to defeating temptation could help you most? I suffer the most temptation when I am alone. Refocusing helps, and so does realizing when I am vulnerable and keeping Godly friends around and on speed dial.

Day 28: It Takes Time

Good things come to those who wait, but I want it now! Everything takes time; I've spent the last 37 years learning to be John. Unfortunately, I was learning from the World. The world is very happy with the John I have become. The world hates that I am trying to relearn how to be John. If I want to be the John that God wants me to be, I've got to throw out about 90% of what I've learned. I'm sure you've heard that it took God one night to get the Israelites out of Egypt and 40 years to get Egypt out of the Israelites.

God is not in a hurry. EVER. I'm impatient. I want to get to the finish line, God wants to makes sure that I finish strong. He could, if he wanted to, transform me over night. If he did, I wouldn't be able to help anyone else. I wouldn't be able to tell them anything about my journey, "I prayed one night, and when I woke up, I was a new man. I didn't have to do anything."

Fortunately, that's not how it works. I know that God's way is the harder way, but I wouldn't want it any other way. I've mentioned several times being able to help people by being able to relate to them. Jesus came to earth and walked a mile in my shoes, He didn't have to, He wanted to. And He could have come onto the scene at 30 years old skipped diapers, nursing, learning to walk and talk, puberty, etc. But He didn't.

God knows that I am a slow learner. He knows that if He gave me everything I needed to know to become like Christ all at once, that my head would probably explode. Just like when I was learning to eat, I had milk before solid food, and had to be spoon fed before I could feed myself, becoming like Christ takes time. I am to a point where I can feed myself, but I still have a sweet tooth for sin. It makes for an unhealthy Spirit.

God is slowly weaning me off of those sweets. Some things I have been doing for 20 years or more. And like I talked about yesterday, I can't just will them to stop. God took a foothold in my life a few short years ago, and hasn't stopped working in me since. Somethings were easier to let go of than others. But some things I have stubbornly held on to, I'm afraid to admit them, I think if I give up this part of me who will I be. Some things make up who I am, and even though I know they don't fit with God's plan for me, I'm still reluctant to stop because I worry about what people will think.

In a world of Instant Messaging, sometimes it's hard to wait on God. I get impatient with the failures. I think I'm over a bad habit, and then it sneaks up on me again. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just gonna keep slipping into the cussing sailor that I was 15 years ago whenever things go bad. I wonder if I'll ever get a hold on my anger issues or if they will coming up whenever I get stressed out. I know that God is working in me, and each time something like cussing, or getting angry comes up, it's a way for me to please God by doing the opposite of what I normally do. One of my Pastors said it took him a year to stop swearing, and another year to stop thinking them. I'm not alone in this struggle.

From a Jail in Rome, Paul wrote to encourage the Church in Philippi.

God began doing a good work in you, and I am sure he will continue it until it is finished when Jesus Christ comes again.
Phil 1:6(NCV)

Today's question is In what area of my spiritual life do I need to be more patient and persistent? I need to work on not getting so angry at myself when I stumble. And to share more of my thoughts with those who love me instead of keeping everything inside.

Remember: There are no shortcuts to maturity

Day 27: Defeating Temptation

I’m not thirsty. I’m not thirsty. I’m not thirsty. I’m not thirsty. I’m not thirsty. I’m not thirsty. I’m not thirsty. I’m not thirsty. I’m not thirsty. I’m not thirsty. I’m not thirsty. I’m not thirsty.

Are you thirsty yet? I know I am thirsty. I don’t want to be thirsty, I just finished a drink. Why am I still thirsty? It might have something to do with the sixteen times I just typed the word thirsty.<--Seventeen. I can’t defeat my thirst by focusing on not being thirsty. I can only defeat it by going to get a drink, or by focusing on what I else I could be doing. Sin works the same way.

On my own, I can’t bottle up what tempts me and focus on not doing it. When I focus my mind on not focusing on a pretty lady, I am tempted to lust. I’ve met women who are well endowed and like to wear low cut tops. And I always tell myself “don’t look, don’t look, don’t look.” And that never works and I look. I apologize, I’m human. I can’t stop doing something that I’m focused on not doing, EVER. Focusing on not doing something only highlights it in my mind. As a matter of fact, I bet you’re the same way. If someone says to you ‘don’t look’ I bet you can’t not look.

That’s not how I’m supposed to defeat temptation. Just as there is a four step method to giving into temptation, (desire, doubt, deception, disobedience) there is a four step method to defeating temptation. It’s a 4R method. I’m going to cover them here, because if you don’t have the book, but are following the blog, you need to know them and apply them to your life.

The first is Refocus your attention on something else. Remember earlier, by focusing on not wanting to be thirsty, I made myself thirstier. By focusing on not noticing a woman’s cleavage, I made myself look. If I think about the work I have to do, I won’t be as thirsty. If I can refocus on her earrings I won’t be tempted to look. If I can simply call to mind scripture verses, I’ve refocused my mind on God and won’t be tempted. Sometimes, refocusing is difficult and the only way to refocus is to change the environment that you’re in, part of refocusing might be to run away. Like is says in the chapter, to avoid being stung, stay away from the bees.

The next step is to Reveal your struggle to a godly friend or support group. That is one of the best ways to get relief from temptation. You can’t get help for a problem you refuse to admit you have. Whatever you can’t talk about is already out of control in your life. Now, I’m not saying that this is the forum for me to talk about every temptation that I struggle with. I haven’t, and won’t. This is the internet, not a small support group of Godly friends. If you don’t have any godly friends in your life, you have one now.

God’s plan for defeating temptation made me laugh the way the author wrote it. Don’t repress it; confess it! Don’t conceal it; reveal it. Revealing your feeling is the beginning of healing. It’s the poet in me that is amused by that; but it also will make it easy for me to remember. When I shared my feelings with my pastor, and later with my mentor, they held me accountable, but they didn’t stop loving me. It was humbling for me to admit where I had fallen, but necessary if I wanted to get back up.

Next we are encouraged to Resist the Devil. I didn’t sit back and resign myself to temptation, and you shouldn’t either. James tells us ‘resist the devil and he will flee from you.’ The only way to fight the devil is with the Word of God. I can’t reason with him, or debate him, or even try to trick him. And, I can’t ignore him either. But like Jesus in the wilderness, if I have the Word of God as my weapon, I can foil every attack he makes. If you don’t have any Bible verses memorized, you’ve got no bullets in your gun!

‘The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want.’(Ps 23:1) ‘Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.’(Ps 37:4) Psalm 23 and Psalm 37 are good ones to know when the devil comes promising to give you the world. The devil cannot give you anything if you’ve given yourself to God. Try to memorize those two Psalms (in their entirety) to start building your arsenal.

The last “R” is Realize your vulnerability. This goes back to my pride again. Temptation comes at me all the time. And sometimes I invite it upon myself. Ultimately, I have control over what I watch, where I go, what music I listen to, etc. I can go into a bar and not be tempted to drink to excess, but when I start listening to ungodly music, I find myself cursing more. Given the right circumstances, any of us are capable of any sin. By avoiding the places where I’m likely to sin, I reduce the chance of me sinning. And, by hanging out with godly friends, I increase my protection against temptation.

The Bible verse comes from Paul writing to the Corinthians.

God is faithful. He will keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can’t stand up against it. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you will not give in to it.
1 Cor 10:13b (NLT)

Who could I ask to be a spiritual partner to help me defeat a persistent temptation by praying for me? I have several names that come to mind, my pastors, my wife, my “bet Freds”. This question really shows me how blessed I am. If you can’t think of one name to answer this question, let me answer it for you; “John will pray for me.” I will.

Remember: There is always a way out.
And, It is easier to avoid temptation then to get out of it.

You can go get that drink now. You're probably still thisty.

Day 26: Growing Through Temptation

I was thankful when I read this chapter. I’m gonna bounce around it for a bit, begin in the middle and then come back. I know I’ve been taking them pretty much in order so that if anyone doesn’t have the book, they could still get the meat. But today I feel a different approach coming on. As you may have noticed over the past few posts, my format has become less structured. I still want to make sure I hit on the Bible verse, the Question, and leave you with a reminder that loosely sums up the whole chapter. But I also want to write more as I feel led.

Many Christians are frightened and demoralized by tempting thoughts, feeling guilty that they aren’t “beyond” temptation. They feel ashamed just for being tempted.

Stand up if that statement describes you. Ok, sit back down, this will be easier for me to write sitting down and for you to read too. I soooo get this. I live this on a regular basis! I am tempted and ashamed to talk about it at the same time. But here I am writing about it. Why, because God uses something that Satan plans for evil in my life as an way for me to please Him. When I refuse to give into temptation, I make God smile.

I also know that I am not alone in my temptations. And that every one of them comes at me the same way. You may not have the weaknesses I have; you may be tempted by things that don’t affect me. But at its core, we are all tempted with the same steps. We desire, we doubt, we are deceived, and we disobey. It worked with Eve, and every man that has ever walked the earth except Jesus. But even Jesus was tempted in the desert.

I desire to provide for my family, that’s a legitimate normal desire, but let me tell you where Satan tries to take it. To provide for my family, I am always looking at ways to make more money. At my work there is usually a chance to work overtime on the weekends, but it involves a Sunday commitment. Satan whispers that God will understand if I put work before church on Sunday. (That’s the doubt) “Did God really say you can’t work on Sunday? Didn’t Jesus tell a man to work on Sunday, He told the Pharisees that they worked on the Sabbath and called them hypocrites.” (Satan knows the Bible better than anyone I’ve ever met) “It’s ok to work on Sunday if Jesus did it.” (That’s a deception) The Bible always has to be taken in context, but Satan will just give us half the story at best. And when I go into to work on Sunday for double time, I’ve become disobedient.

Yesterday I told you about how I almost lost my house. I was working a ton of hours and not paying attention to the little clues God was giving me. My bike needed major work, the van kept breaking down, the A/C stopped working, etc. All that double time money wasn’t going towards the stuff I wanted it to go to. It wasn’t even going to the stuff God wanted it to, like Church. God was trying to get my attention. I am always tempted to put making money at the top of my ‘to do’ list. But, I don’t work every Sunday or overtime day that is available if I have plans with the family.

So I can and will be tempted; but this chapter gives me some great advice on how to turn a temptation in to a good thing; a God thing. There was the first thing I mentioned about not being intimidated by it. If I accept that I will be tempted, it’s not a crushing blow when it happens. The next part was recognizing when I get tempted, for me it’s when I’m stress about money. It’s just so easy to say, I’m going to go to work instead of Church. But, if I can come up with a budget and stick to it, then I won’t be as stressed over finances and I can be less tempted by the lure of double time pay.

The last way to turn temptation into a good thing is to ask God to help me with it. God loves when we come to Him with our problems. In fact not turning to God for help is a sin. When you refuse to seek God’s help with your problem, your temptation, you are telling God ‘I can figure this out, I don’t need you.’ Maybe your temptation is beer and you have to drive past six bars on the way home from work. Ask God to help you go straight home. If your temptation is lust, ask God to give you the strength to avoid the beach, and the late night movies/internet.

There was something promising in this chapter directly related to that, but can be applied across the board of temptation. Attraction and arousal are the natural, spontaneous, God-given responses to physical beauty, while lust ‘is a deliberate act of the will.’ . . . attraction is not lust until you begin to dwell on it.

It is not a sin to be tempted. Temptation only becomes sin when you give into it. I wish I could engrave that in my own brain. When I give into temptation, I make a choice to go against what God wants me to do. I can’t wait to get to tomorrow’s chapter on defeating temptation!

The Bible verse comes from the Book of James. This is one of my favorite books in the New Testament because James, like John, never seems to sugar coat anything. I like that.

God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
James 1:12(NLT)

The question is: What Christlike character quality can I develop by defeating the most common temptation I face? I didn’t go over the 9 Fruits of the Spirit in my blog so if you don’t have the book, Google that phrase to better understand this question. In the temptations I face daily I can develop my faithfulness and self control most by defeating them.

Remember: Every temptation is an opportunity to do good.

Day 25: Transformed by Trouble

If I was highlighting, this whole chapter would probably be yellow. I had to restrain myself in the number of things I wanted to underline. This chapter is one of the most difficult to come to terms with as human beings. Bad things will happen to me no matter how much Scripture I know. Memorizing the Bible from “In to Amen” cannot add one moment more than what God has ordained for me, nor will it save me from one bad thing that will happen either. If I needed proof of that I need only remember the story of Job.

I have been tested in the past. I don’t believe I have an early memory that is not centered on some sort of trouble. I’ve seen pictures of me as a happy child, but I don’t have those memories in my head. In the past I was bitter over the things that happened to me. I was depressed over the things I had done. There was no rest for me before I reacquainted myself with the Lord. I was consumed by hate over the things done to me, and consumed by shame over the things I had done. But Jesus told me to cast my burdens onto Him, and things started improving.

The Accuser of Man stands before God and I will be tested again. I know that I am better prepared now than I have ever been. And each day on this journey I become more equipped. I know that the struggles I have are nothing that isn’t common to all mankind. And if God would not spare His only Son from the trials of temptation, loneliness, stress, even the death of a loved one (Lazarus), I certainly don’t deserve special treatment. And I’m not saying that in the past twenty five days that my life has completely changed, but my outlook is changing.

One line that really resonated within me was: You’ll never know that God is all you need until God is all you’ve got. I’ve been there, more than once. I can recall the memories with ease. It is true that God is close to the brokenhearted, I know it firsthand. God was reaching out to me and I was still trying to do my own thing, manage my own life, and figure out money making schemes. Then I almost lost my house. As a father of three young kids in a single income household, you don’t get much more broken than that. Ask me what failure feels like; I felt it in my bones, it was like a second skin.

But through all that God had a plan. How do I know? Because I prayed, my wife prayed, my pastors and close church friends prayed. On my knees in a rented room in Maryland, I surrendered my house to God and trusted that if I lost the house, God would still provide for my family. And while I was trying to work with the bank, and get money from my 401k, and work a job that was 800 miles from my house, wife, and kids, He answered in a big way. I was praying for a piece of drift wood to keep me afloat; He sent me a raft. And I thanked Him over and over through tears of relief and joy. And a few weeks later, I thanked Him again by giving my testimony on stage at church so others could know through my suffering about a God who really does care.

God never promised that I wouldn’t have troubles; He promised that as long as I had faith, He would never abandon me to them. He has a plan for me to know Him and be like His Son in character. I can know a lot about Jesus, but until I experience what He went through, I can’t fully know Him.

Paul tells us in the Book of Romans:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.
Rom 8:28(NIV)

The question was: What problem in my life caused the greatest growth in me? I think I answered that already.

Remember: There is a purpose behind every problem.

A few other lines that stuck with me:
It is during suffering that we learn to pray our most authentic, heartfelt, honest-to-God prayers.

Problems force us to look to God and depend on Him instead of ourselves.

God’s purpose is greater than our problems, our pain and even our sin.

He will use whatever it takes.

Your circumstances are temporary but your character will last forever.

Your focus determines your feelings.

God will never leave us on our own.

And perhaps my favorite line:
Don’t give up- grow up!

Day 24: Transformed by Truth

"The truth will set you free." I remember hearing that statement as a reason to be honest, to confess to some bit of wrong doing, etc. I don't ever once remember it being referenced to the Bible. The truth that sets me free is not something that comes out of my mouth, it's something that goes into my head. God's Word is that Truth.

I've been learning from the world for the past 37 years. The world is where I learned my alphabet, my colors, math, etc. The world also has been teaching me what is "acceptable behavior". Sometimes what used to be acceptable becomes unacceptable, like smoking in restaurants. And the opposite is also true like when NYC passed a law under the umbrella of equal treatment under the law that says it's acceptable for a women to be topless anywhere that a man enjoys that same freedom. (beaches, parks, etc)

But God's Truth, God's Laws are unchanging. The Bible was finished almost 2000 years ago. Nothing has been changed to make it more 'politically correct', or to modernize it. Even the countries names have stayed the same, we know that Babylon was in what we now call Iraq, but the Bible stories don't change.

I've admitted before that I don't know a lot of Bible stories, outside of the major ones. But I do accept God's Word as the ultimate authority in my life. The problem is that, just like with some of the world's laws, I tend to avoid the ones that are inconvenient. I admit that I've been treating God's Law's like speed limit signs. I follow them when I'm in a crowd following them, or when the weather is rough. Now, when I'm alone on the road, I'm not doing 90 in a 45, but even if I'm only doing 47, I'm speeding.

But living in the Truth requires me to know what that is. I need to spend more time reading my Bible, learning God's Word on all things. And then once I've learned it, I have to put God's Word into action in my life. In the past, even when I've read the Bible, I'm still not in the Truth. I have to put what I've read into action, if the world says something is acceptable, I have to bounce it off the truth of God's Word. And then I have to do what is right, not what is acceptable!

The Gospel of John brings us our Bible verse today:

Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
John 8:31-32(KJV)

Today's question was tough for me to answer. Not because I didn't know the answer, the Spirit lead me right to it, but because I didn't want to admit the answer.What has God already told me in His Word that I haven't started doing yet? It sounds weird in today's day and age, but it's a problem with one of the basic commandments. I haven't been honoring my parents. I forgot to call my mother on her birthday, I can't remember the last time I called my father on his. You may think it's 'silly' I know, but it's against God's will.

Remember:The Truth transforms me

Day 23: How We Grow

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.
1 Cor 13:11(NIV)

Today is Monday, the weekend is over, it's time to get back to work. My kids are still out of school so they will be staying home playing video games and having fun at their martial arts class later. Oh how I would have loved to have spent the last few months just hanging out all day playing video games, going to the pool or water park and having fun. But, I'm an adult now and I have responsibilities.

I grew up, not by choice, but by nature. In the world, all living things grow. In people we normally refer to this as maturing, but really it's just aging. Maturing to me is about a mindset. We no longer 'think like a child'. If you know me, you know I enjoy video games, but I also enjoy providing for my family so video games have to fall in behind that. They actually aren't as high on the list as most people would think. Some of the stuff I do to provide for my family, I don't enjoy as much as video games, but in putting family needs first and thinking of them, I can get through.

To grow as a Christian, I had to make a choice. I had to make changes. Anyone who was at my church yesterday may have heard some similar statements from my pastor. I chose to stop drinking like a sailor on shore leave, that was the first and easiest for me, I had good motivation. I still will have an occasional 'adult beverage' but I don't let it get to the point where I give in to debauchery. Another step was getting the 'adult magazines' out of the closet. I hate to admit that that happened just recently, but will tell you that it was more out of laziness than lust. Trust me, they were covered with dust and I put them straight in a bag and out with the trash. I hadn't forgotten about them, but things hidden at the top of the closet tend to get over looked.

That's why it's important to "clean out your closet", take everything out and look at it. See if it still fits. Put it in perspective with your Christian life. Do I keep my Molly Brown's tee shirt with the half naked lady on it, nope. What would it say to people if I wore it to church? And what it comes down to is that things that don't fit need to go. I've made small choices at first, I worked with the Holy Spirit on pruning things. As He gave me strength to cut one thing out, it became easier to cut the next thing. And like a plant, pruning really helps it to blossom and highlights what we want to show off.

I had to think about the things in my life as if my pastor was coming over for dinner. Could I take him on a tour of the house and then just ignore the one closet and pray he wouldn't ask "what's behind that door?". That's not the reason we haven't had you over yet, believe me.

There is no easy way to grow as a Christian. You are going to meet resistance from the world every step of the way. But by changing my thinking and trusting God, I have managed to take a few small steps in the right direction. I am in partnership with the Holy Spirit like I spoke about yesterday. When I calm myself and focus on His voice, the choices become clear. Although I may catch some flak from people of the world, I know that I am working towards a higher goal than just living for me and for this life.

The Book of Romans gives us our quote this week. It wasn't the one I started the blog with.

Don't be like the people of this world, but let God change the way you think. Then you will know how to do everything that is good and pleasing to him.
Rom 12:2 (CEV)

Today's question: What is one area where I need to stop thinking 'my' way and start thinking 'God's' way? I need to give more control of my computer time to God. I need to get on, do what I need to do, and get off because there are other things He needs me to be doing with my time.

Remember: It is never too late to start growing.

Day 22: Created to Become Like Christ

(I had to move this post so that sequentially it was in the right spot. It was posted Sunday, Monday's post will follow shortly)

Today was a great day. I had a great time at church, a fellowship lunch with some friends,and then we took the kids to an overnight play date. They get to have a sleep over and I get to have a date with my wife after a fun beach photo shoot. So, I apologize for today's blog going up so late. Today's chapter was very uplifting. I did read it right after church and it helped make an even better day.

Today's chapter talks about how I was created to become like Christ. What great news is that. Of all the things I want to become, it's more like Christ. The image of Christ is what were made in. God formed Adam in the Garden of Eden in His image, and after the fall, we moved further and further away from that perfect image. Christ came to show us how to do that. How to live in complete compliance with God's will.

I know I can never be God, there is only one "Big G". I can't even be a god (little g). And I won't be an angel when I get to Heaven either. All those positions are already full. No, God has a job set aside just for me. My perfect job. (I hope it involves a camera.) But the job that God has picked out for me, the place He has prepared for me requires some training. It's not training like my current job requires where I have to learn a skill with my hands.

I am training my character to be like Christ's. I've got a trainer to help me out while I'm here. God sent the Holy Spirit to help me create Christlike character. I can't do it on my own. But I haven't been cooperating with the Holy Spirit. He's been trying to teach me to live like Christ and I haven't been. But, Obedience unlocks God's power. I've been working on it, and getting better at it, but it's a life long process.

God has been using people and events in my life to help the Holy Spirit mold my character into the image Christ modeled for us. Even the things in my life that I didn't understand at the time, when I look at them from this perspective, I can see God's hand in them. And I always can remind myself that I will never have to endure the punishment I deserve because Christ was the perfect offering to God for my sins.

If He went through all that trouble to save me, He must have a really important job for me. And what He is asking of me in return is to be more like Him. If I think about it, it's not really that hard; God wants me to be kind to people, to love others like He loves me. I can do that. With His help and my helper the Holy Spirit.

Paul writing to the Church in Corinth encourages them to allow the Spirit to work within them.

So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.
2 Cor 3:18 (NLT)

The question today is: In what area of my life do I need to ask for the Spirit's power to be like Christ today? There is one relationship in my life that I need the Spirit's help with. It requires me to just step out into the raging water and trust that God will not let the currents of emotion pull me under.

Remember: I was created to become like Christ.

Week 3: You were formed for God's family.

I forgot to put these questions up at the end of last week. So, I had to do some rearranging after putting up Sunday's Day 22 post. I almost left the discussion questions out altogether since no one was discussing them with me. But, I want to stay true to form, and I want to keep blogging in practice for the small group I will be leading on this book.

How is 'being as committed to each other as we are to Jesus Christ' different from the way most people understand fellowship? Most Christians today see fellowship as hanging out for trivial conversation and snacks. Few are really committed to the people they sit next to every Sunday. They are not interested in helping other people grow spiritually.

What are the barriers that keep us from loving and caring for other believers? Personality differences are the biggest barrier, second would be putting worldly wants in front of other people's needs.

What would make it easier to share your needs, hurts, fears and hopes with others?I'm usually shy to open up, but in a group where other people are sharing I can share as well.

What are the most common excuses people give for not joining a church, and how would you answer them? I hate giving answers for what other people are thinking. I stayed away from joining a church after I moved for several reasons, I didn't know any one, I had scheduled work on Sundays, I had a bad experience in my last church. What I would tell people facing those issues is "you know me, come to my church", "Going to church is more fulfilling than working, but if you have to work Sunday, my church has fellowship groups all week long and sermons on podcast", and "take a chance, if you don't like my church, look for another one preaching the Bible and love of Jesus Christ.

What could our group do to protect and promote the unity in our church? I like the idea of a small group signing a contract, but even just making a pledge to one another, and constantly reinforcing the things we have in common rather than the differences will go a long way to promoting unity.

Is there someone you need to restore a relationship with that we could pray for you about? Yes, there is and I am pretty sure they are reading this blog. God knows who they are, if you could just pray that I am able to restore my broken relationship so that I don't take guilt and unresolved issues into the next life with me.

Day 21: Protecting Your Church

Sorry that I'm getting to this late tonight. I worked today and am having issues with my laptop. I think it needs a new battery. But oh well, there are other more important things to concern myself with. It works off the cord and for now, that's good enough. Back to the book.

Today's chapter is all about protecting the church. When I think of protecting something, I think of defending it from outside attacks. But in the church, a lot of times what happens is the attacks come from within. This is something I have experienced in the past. Maybe you have seen it, or experienced it too. I don't think I've ever left a church because of internal conflicts, but I have have seen people leave our church over it.

So, there are things I can do that will help prevent internal conflicts. Remember yesterday, I said that God wants unity, not uniformity. He made us all different for His purpose. A church full of people just like me wouldn't be very exciting. Always remember, God didn't want us to all be the same. If he did, we would be. Plain and simple. But, to protect unity in the church, I do need to focus on the things we do have in common. Foremost on that list is God.

God and the Bible are the anchor, something we all believe in. Once we loose focus on the things we agree on, we can move past the differences right? But why is it SO HARD? It seems I'm wired to notice differences in people. I have to move past that if I want to keep unity in the church. God commands us not to judge one another. Focusing on what makes someone different is a sure fire path to division in the church.

I don't think I have high expectations of others, I don't expect people to be perfect, I just wish they were more like me. But, I'm a train wreck, so that's not realistic either. I can protect the unity in the Church the same way I protect fellowship with other believers. I own up to my own short comings and with grace accept the short comings of others. Besides, there are so, so many talented people in our church, if I am holding them under a microscope are they doing it too? It's only natural to think that if I'm judging other, they are judging me too. That road leads to paranoia.

One thing I do not do is gossip. Part of it is just that I don't want people talking about me. Part of it is that I tend want to hear it "from the horses mouth". Unless it's about me and you, don't come to me with a problem. However, if you have a problem with me, come to me second, after you've talked to God that is. That's God's plan for conflict resolution.

There's one more thing that is important for keeping unity at church. I have to support the leaders and pastors. I think I do a pretty good job of that. I love our pastors and all the leaders at our church. I've said it before that they model what they preach. They model what I've been learning about in this book.

The Bible verse is again from the Book of Romans:

So then, let us aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up.
Rom 14:19 (NLT)

The quotes in these last three days have been really relevant to the reading, but for more on these subjects, the Book of John (not the Gospel), and the Book of James both offer excellent advice for living in harmony with each other, within the church, and within small groups.

The questionWhat am I personally doing to protect unity in my church family right now? I have been working on reaching out to people in church, and have been working towards becoming a small group leader on this book to help others understand the importance of living for God's purpose.

Remember: It is my responsibility to protect the unity of my church.

Day 20: Restoring Broken Fellowship

I hate to sound like a broken record but, Friday's that I work are just not fun for me. By the time I get home at 7pm, I've worked 16.5hrs, and driven 4hrs since 3pm Thursday. I am ready for bed. But today is day 20. The mid point of the book. No stopping now. Besides, today's chapter really made me think. It hit home on some levels, and gave me a lot to think about in my relationships with other people in my life.

When a relationship with someone I know ends, I tend to write them off. If it ends badly, there's a good chance I may never speak of them again. Thankfully in my church life, that hasn't happened yet. I looked at this chapter thinking about if I've let any Christian friends go that I shouldn't have. Did I end a relationship that God had ordained? Luckily, no name jumped out at me.

But still, there is an entire chapter of advice that I need to take when the next conflict arises in my life. God wants us to be known by our love for each other, but if I am in conflict with my fellow Christians I'm not a very good model of Christianity. So, I must do what is necessary to resolve the conflicts that arise as quickly as possible. God put the utmost importance on it when He told us that we should resolve conflict with our brothers even before we enter into worshiping Him.

The first person I need to talk to when I'm having a problem with someone else is God. I'm not good at this. I usually don't talk to anyone, I just internalize it all. That's bad practice on two levels, not talking to God, and not talking to the person I am in conflict with. Maybe they don't even know we're in conflict they said something that I took offense to and I walked off. But they didn't know I was offended, and now, they can't even work at repairing the relationship either.

As Christians, we're expected to make the first move toward reconciliation. That's hard for me. I want to just avoid the person or the situation altogether. Maybe it will go away, or fix itself. Maybe they will come to me and admit they were wrong. That's not what God wants though. What God wants is (drum roll please . . .) contrary to what the world expects.

God wants us to admit that we are at fault too. One person can not have a conflict. When there is conflict, each person involved played a role. Wait, no. I didn't do anything! It's all your fault. But John tells us that anyone who says they have not sinned is calling God a liar. I have to admit that I played a part in any conflict I am in. And then I have to go do my least favorite thing. I have to go listen to the person I am in conflict with.

I tell my kids "You have two ears and one mouth, so you should listen twice as much as you talk." Yet, I don't follow that advice myself. Well, actually I do, if I don't talk then I don't have to listen even twice as much. And just like yesterday when I had to admit that I was annoying so that I could extend grace to you about annoying me. . . I need to admit that your feelings are just as valid as my own.

I guess my biggest problem in this chapter is that conflict is a problem and problems require solutions. It's in my nature. I've told my wife "tell your girlfriend if you have a problem that you don't want a solution to", because I can't help myself. I'm not good at just listening and sympathizing with people, without thinking 'how would I solve this?'.

God expects unity, not uniformity and we can walk arm in arm without seeing eye to eye on every issue That is what I needed to hear most. It's what I need to live most!

Paul, writing to the Romans, tells us:

Do everything possible on your part to live in peace with everybody
Rom 12:18 (TEV)

Today's question was one I couldn't answer.Who do I need to restore a broken relationship with today? Hopefully as I think on this more, and maybe talk to my mentor and pastor, they can help me see what I know I'm missing. Because I don't believe that I am not in conflict with anyone at all right now.

Remember: Relationships are always worth restoring.

Day 19: Cultivating Community

I’ll be honest, when I started reading this chapter, I wasn’t getting it. What can I do in a community? It seemed like much of it was the same as the chapter on fellowship. Community, that’s like a whole bunch of people who live in the same area, isn’t it? But then I read a little further, this is about the verb, not the noun. It’s about the relationship emotionally and spiritually with the people around you, not the physical proximity.

It takes both God’s power and our effort to produce a loving Christian community. Why? Because it requires us to do things that are counter-intuitive to the way the world has made us.

News flash: I’m not always honest with people. “Fine” is the text book response to “How are things going?” But often nothing in my life is fine. And it’s not that I don’t trust you, I just always feel that someone asking that question doesn’t really want to know the tiny or big things that are making my day “OK” or “Not so good”. And sometimes they are minute, the dog pooped on the carpet again, the twins can’t seem to get along, I over cooked the pizza and it curled up in the oven. Sometimes not so minute, I said something I regret, I intentionally hurt someone, I did something stupid that I shouldn’t have. So I say “I’m fine, everything is good.”

My family deserves my honesty, and I deserve theirs. My family should be able to say to me: “John, I’ve been watching you lately and things aren’t fine.” It’s better for me, and I’m really good about opening up when the question is repeated. If you’ll accept “Fine” as an answer when you ask someone that question, you’re not being a true friend. You’re letting them lie to you and to themselves. When you lie to others, you lie to yourself. (Eph 4:25) Ask them again and be sincere. Get real with someone, be honest, and call them on their bluff. You’ll be surprised at what a difference it can make in someone’s day; in their life.

News flash: Pride blocks God’s grace in our lives. I’m not proud, but I’m not good at being humble either. It ties in with my passive aggressive behavior. I don’t have a lot of qualities to be proud of by the worlds standards. I’m not wealthy, strikingly handsome, well built, or educated. I’m proud of my family, of my wife and how she’s grown in Christ. Proud of my kids, when people tell me how thoughtful and polite and adorable they are. I’m proud of myself for having committed to this blog and stuck with it for 19 days and counting.

I am humble in Christ, and with other Christians. I know the depths of my sin so how can I put myself above anyone. My Pastor models that behavior for me and over the past 3 years of watching him live what he preaches, it’s wearing off on me. I have said repeatedly in the blog that I am a sinner. Just as becoming a Christian didn’t make me sinless, it made me sin less; humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less. Think of others needs before your own wants, because others needs are Christ’s needs. But, I don’t want you to think that means you let people walk all over you either.

News flash: We all have quirks and annoying traits. I bet you have a pet peeve. If you’re like me you have more than one. Maybe it’s people who don’t signal when changing lanes, maybe it’s people who chew with their mouth open, maybe you know someone like I do who “text talks”. (They actually say “idk”, “rofl”, and “lol”) It’s annoying.

I’m easily distracted I can’t keep eye contact with someone for more than a few seconds at a time. I catch myself all the time. When I meet with clients, I have to turn my phone off because if I forget and it buzzes, I’m gonna look at it. And that’s rude, and I know it, and I try not to, but I’m human. So, if I go back to Honesty and Humility and admit that I am annoying I can bring myself to overlook the things I find annoying in other people. (Except text talking, I will call you on that in a heartbeat, so don’t do it. Lol)

There’s another thing that makes a small group a community: confidence. Not like “I know you can do it!” Confidence like “You can trust me.” And you know what, you can trust me. I have had trust issues in the past. If I say this to this person, they’ll tell someone they trust, who will tell someone they trust, until the person I really didn’t want to know has found out. But in my current fellowship that hasn’t been an issue. What happens in group stays in group. Some people don’t see that right away, trusting other people to maintain that confidence is a step taken in the dark. But once I could trust people, my burdens became a whole lot less. And if you’re thinking right now that over the past 19 days I haven’t really shared any ‘dirt’; two things are wrong there. This is the internet, not just a small group, and your reason for following this blog is all wrong. It’s not about me, it’s about Him. If I’m non-specific and trivial and make jokes about Patriot fans, and people who chew with their mouth open, God will still get His message to the people who need to hear it.

News flash: Rome wasn’t built in a day. Bet you’ve heard that before. How about if it’s worth having, it’s worth waiting for? How about “All you need is Love”? Wait, what? Well, if you’ve been paying attention, the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E. To truly be part of a Christian community, it’s going to take a commitment and a sacrifice. The one thing God does still want from us in sacrifice is our time. It’s not about how you want to spend your time; it’s about making a commitment to spend part of it in fellowship with other Christians. You’ve got a set amount of time here and you don’t know when it’s up. God deserves your time and you give God your time not just by studying His Word, but by acting on it.

The Bible verse is the most advertised verse in history, it appears on more TV screens during sporting events and rallies than any Nike, or Gillette commercial.

We understand what love is when we realize that Christ gave His life for us. That means we must give our lives for other believers.
John 3:16 (GWT)

That verse has confused a lot of people too. Christ gave His life for us on the cross, so I have to die for another Christian? No, Christ gave His life for us when He left His father’s side and said He would be the payment required for our sins. Not when He died on the cross at age 33, when He left the comfort of Heaven to live among us as one of us. Die to your comfort for other Christians, approach a stranger, let the spirit lead you; give someone who needs it this book when you’re done with it.

The question is: How can I help cultivate today the characteristics of real community in my small group and at my church? I’m not in a small group yet, except with you readers. I hope that I have been cultivating the right characteristics on this blog. I hope that I have been humble; I've been honest (even if I've held some stuff back); I’ve definitely made the commitment of time. I can’t wait for the opportunity to do this in a face to face setting with a few of my brothers in Christ.

Remember: Community requires commitment.

Day 18: Experiencing Life Together

Are you familiar with the Lord of the Ring series of books? A group of different races come together with one common goal. They become known as The Fellowship of the Ring. That's kind of what we are called to do as Christians. Get into small groups and fellowship. The Fellowship of the Choir, the Fellowship of Moving, The Fellowship of the Child Care. Things like that take place at my church. Of course we don't call them those things, but you get the idea, different people with a shared goal.

But what does 'fellowship' really mean. A fellow is a comrade or associate, a peer or an equal, another person like me. A ship well, that's a big boat. So fellowship must have to do with a bunch of people, maybe Russians, on a ship right? I thought that was the Navy. Been there, done that. I had fellowship with shipmates, all 5000 of them.

But when I was in the Navy, I didn't call it fellowship, I think I knew the difference between 'fellowship' and 'friendship'. Friendship can be had without fellowship, but you can't fellowship without friendship. According to my facebook, I have 243 friends, but I don't have fellowship with all of them. Fellowship is about closeness, and 243 people can't all be close. In fellowship, size matters, and smaller is better.

Jesus spent three years in fellowship with twelve other people. Sure, He preached to hundreds,and fed 5000, but He invested the most of His time into His Disciples. They were the original Fellowship of the King.

Fellowship is about sharing more than food, or idle conversations about the weather, or even a Sunday service. I don't fellowship on Sunday with the 300 other people who attend my church, I go there to be fed His Word. Fellowship with me happens during the week when I get to meet with other believers in small groups. Sadly, my shift schedule makes it hard for me to fellowship, but I think I'm finding ways to make it happen anyway.

I need fellowship; it helps me be a better Christian. That real connection that comes from being open and honest with another person the author calls 'Authenticity'. Being real. It's hard to "keep it real" in large groups. In a large group, we can blend in and hide our flaws, but there's no hiding in fellowship. I need to be accepted for who I am, a broken, sinning, Child of Christ. It needs to be genuine and if I haven't been honest with who I am to others, their acceptance of me becomes worthless. I said it the other day, all of my 243 facebook friends don't 'know' me.

I need fellowship for the give and take. Not about stuff, I need the give and take of accountability, responsibility, and encouragement. This again comes from openness and honesty. I can't say that I smoke (which I don't) and then tell the people I'm in fellowship with that I'm quitting and need their support. I need to tell them what I really struggle with and have them hold me accountable, everyday if necessary. I need to be responsible to them if I say I'm going to meet them, or do something, and I need to encourage them as they encourage me. Paul's said "your faith will help me, and mine with help you."

I love the image the author paints. In times of deep crisis, grief and doubt, when our faith falters we need believing friends the most. Within fellowship, our friends have faith 'for' us. When we are broken to the point that we can't feel God, that our world is crashing down, it's nice to have friends who we know and that we can see and feel. When God seems distant to me, I can always look to my friend and mentor Tom, and see Him there. That fellowship keeps God real in my life. In fellowship with others, I can share in their pain, which divides it, and their happiness, which multiplies it.

In fellowship I find mercy, not judgment. I've spoken on stage at Church before. I've opened up about personal things in front of 150 or more people. When I was up there, I couldn't help but think about who was judging me. Were people who never struggled with what I was struggling with now thinking less of me? Had I ruined my 'image' as a Christian who has it all together?(not that for one second I ever felt that I projected that image.) It's hard to know what 150 people are thinking. But in small groups, in fellowship you know.

I've opened up about some really personal stuff in fellowship and never once felt judged. When you tell someone what your biggest sin is, and they wrap you in a huge bear hug, that is love, that is mercy, that is God. It is not judgment.

The main thing I took away from this chapter was the line "You will never be asked to forgive someone else more than God has already forgiven you. I know, that the whole chapter was about fellowship and the grace and forgiveness just a small portion at the end, but without forgiveness and grace for one another, there can be no fellowship.

I've been there, maybe you're there now. I've backslid, fallen off the wagon, whatever you want to call it. I'm getting back up. I'm getting back into fellowship. I'm admitting what I've done and asking for that forgiveness and grace. How about you?

From the Book of Galatians the Bible tells us

Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.
Gal 6:2 (NLT)

What better advice could there be? In the real world, you know it's easier to carry a heavy object with a few other people. Obviously 243 people can't all help move a grand piano, but 12 could. So why do so many of us insist on carrying our spiritual baggage alone? Stop it! We are commanded by God to share these burdens with others and help others with their burdens.

The question for today is: What one step can I take today to connect with another believer at a more genuine, heart-to-heart level? I think that true connection comes from intimate contact. Today, I will call another believer and talk to them about their day. Not text them, facebook them, or shoot them an e-mail, today I will make REAL CONTACT. Although, I will take Pastor Mike's example and text a few others some encouragement. But there's someone I need to call right now.

Remember:I need others in my life.