Day 14: When God Seems Distant

God is always around. Sometimes I can't feel Him. In my heart, I know He's there, but I just can't feel Him. I'm hurting and I'm wondering why I'm all alone, why do I have to suffer this way? Why did He pick last night to leave me alone with my anxiety? All relationships have periods of separation. How we behave during the separation says a lot about our commitment to it.

I know a girl who is a track star. Literally. And anyone who runs knows that it's a relationship. It requires time and commitment. My friend runs for her high school track team, and even though it's summer, she's still running. No one who knows her questions her commitment to running. If she took the summer off, she would still probably be the fastest girl in her school. But she want's to be the fastest girl in the state. She has the drive and skill to do it too. Good Luck this year, I hope I get to see you compete.

Is my commitment to God as dedicated? There is no "off season" for true Christians. Nope, even when God is choosing to seem distant from me, I need to worship Him. The Book of Job, one of my favorite in the Bible, was perfect meat for this chapter. I know the story well, and have used parts of it several times to help lift up friends who were down. Job lost everything and I mean EVERYTHING. He railed against God, openly and honestly, but he never once stopped trusting Him. He knew his place, and he even foreshadowed our Savior.

If only there were someone to arbitrate between us,
to lay his hand upon us both,
someone to remove God's rod from me,
so that his terror would frighten me no more
Job 9:33-34 (NIV)

If I lost everything in a day as Job did, I would surely rail against God, I would curse the day I was born, the day my mother kissed my father, but could I bring myself to say: "Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him" Job 13:15a (NIV) "God is killing me, but I trust Him." I surely hope so. Can I continue to love, trust, obey, and WORSHIP Him when all around me is falling apart?

Last night was a test, and in it, His promise from 1 Corinthians 10:13 held true, He gave me a way out, and a way to endure. Thank you Chels, I slept well last night after reading your words. But I still need to work on "telling God exactly how I feel".

I'm non confrontational by nurture. Not by nature, my genetic make up would lead anyone to believe that confrontation is in my DNA. I've said it before, Cuban mother . . . Italian father a formula for being aggressive and confrontational if I dare say so myself. But my house was full of confrontations and nothing good ever came of them. So that is why I say 'by nurture' I am non confrontational. I do however tend to be passively aggressive. I'm working on it.

Besides, who am I to tell God anything? First off, why do I need to say it if He's omnipotent? Secondly, who am I that He would even care? Obviously He knows how I'm feeling if He allowed these things to happen right? I am dust compared to Him. Those kinds of thought patterns make it very hard to open up and say how I'm feeling. Those kinds of thought patterns come from listening to the great deceiver. Satan wants me to believe that I am nothing to God, that God doesn't care. He woos me with lies. He tells me I don't need to tell God, I need to tell him what's wrong, he'll make me feel better. Satan has all kinds of comforts ready for me the second things start to get hard. The Bible says of him: 'he stalks me like a lion waiting to pounce'.

I love my wife and she knows it; it's seen in almost everything I do. But I still need to tell her. The words have power. Crying out to God, telling Him everything that He already knows, begging for His Strength, His Mercy, or His Forgiveness is a powerful act of worship. Telling God I'm mad at Him, isn't anti-Christ like. Do these words sound anti-Christ? "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" Tell God how you feel, He can take it.

The other things I can do is focus on who God truly is. Remember, I worship the God who IS, not the God I want Him to be. I know from reading that God is constant, He keeps His promises, and He loves me and wants what is best for me. Even if, as in during moments like last night, it seems like He has left me alone again. God will do what He has to do to keep me. That includes seeing if I can remember who He is and what He has already done for me.

A lot of people quote Romans 5:8 as a testament of how much God loves us and deserves our worship. ". . . while we were still sinners, Christ died for us". If you know me on Facebook, I have a different quote on my profile. I've personalized internally and my version has 'my' and 'me' in place of 'our' and 'us'. It was probably the first verse I can remember remembering.

But HE was pierced for MY transgressions,
HE was crushed for MY iniquities;
the punishment that brought ME peace was upon HIM,
and by HIS wounds I am healed. Is 53:5

That's how much He loves me and that is why I worship Him.

Today's Bible Quote is from the Book of Hebrews.

For God has said, 'I will never leave you, I will never abandon you.'
Heb 13:5 (TEV)

There's a HUGE promise in that. And the God who IS never breaks His promise.

Today's question: How can I stay focused on God's presence especially when He feels distant? I do this by reading His Word and listening to music that makes me feel closer to Him.

Remember:God is real no matter how I feel.